winter break is ending

this is the last week i have for winter break. well, technically, school starts friday, although i luckily don't have classes until tuesday. i know it's already the middle of the week, but it feels like it's just the beginning. this week is just full of so much, and all of a sudden there's nothing to do. i will need to find things to do.

work has been...er....stressful. only a little bit though. it's its usual wendy's life. but i've just been getting so few hours, it's starting to annoy me and, well, stress me out. it's an alright job (eventhough i say otherwise alot), but it would be better if i were working my normal 35ish hours a week...not a measly 12. and to think they wanted me to be shift supervisor, or at least were thinking about it. how am i to do that if i don't get any hours? i've been thinking about finding a new job, i think it's time.

i can't wait for school to start. i don't like sitting in classrooms, i don't like having to deal with people i'd rather not, but i just want to busy myself with something. i never do anything besides work and see my boyfriend, rob. it's nice, but both are never frequent enough. school will keep me busy and make me want vacation again.

this semester i will be taking more classes than last. 2 times more to be exact. last semester i took only 2 classes, it was easier for me, i was on financial aid probation...a term meaning, i was failing and my gpa was horrible. heh, but with these 2 classes i managed to bring my gpa up and i'm no longer worried about not getting help paying for college. i'm also excited for the classes i will be taking, which are: college math, anthropology (online), biology 1 and it's lab, and also psychology. these are all classes i've wanted to take (minus the math). i'm striving to get to human anatomy, i know i should've started taking science classes about 3 semesters ago, but i guess you can say i'm taking a slower pace. i don't mind taking a so called slower pace because i have yet to know what i want to do with my life. i'm comfortable with it, but apparently, no one else is. maybe i can change that over time.

right now i'm blogging, it's been a while, and it's always been a while. but now i have a computer of my own that won't malfunction everytime i try to do this, so i will be keeping up with it. who knows, maybe someone might find it interesting at some point or another...i am also working on getting my camera fixed, so i will also have pictures to place in here so it won't just be endless typing and boring layouts. no worries, i will get on that next...

next as in, as soon as i can...you see...right now i have some chicken to attend to. stuffed chicken cutlets with hasselback potatoes..yumm....

until next time.
<3jaimee

bella notte

recently (and when i say recently i mean 30 seconds before i started typing this) that song from Lady and the Tramp became stuck in my head. i used to love watching that movie, it gave me such hope and happiness. of course, so did all disney movies, and cartoon kid movies. i still love all of those movies, peter pan being my favorite <3. i should watch peter pan sometime soon.

i'm on spring break right now, and it's alright. i'm going to be working non-stop though. sunday i drove around alot. monday was really nice, besides leaving robs house, i had worried him and made both of us upset by what had happened, but i'm alright now, and taking better care of myself. i promise to take better care of myself. i don't want to worry everytime i get a headache that it's not a headache. but other than that, it was a good day. today i went to the Dinosaur State Park with meilin and her family. they are a cute family, and i adore them. so hilarious, and they're fun. although it was very disappointing, i had fun. then i got my paycheck, and all of my unbelievably hard work pays off when i see that amount on that sheet of paper. unfortunately, i work too much, and don't get to enjoy my break.
also, i'm worried about how i'm behind in my classes. i have no motivation right now, though i know i need to. it's ridiculous.

i'm sad always, but i try not to let that keep other people down. there are times that i'm truely happy, and i love every second of those times, and hold onto them during my down times. apparently alot of people have been having dreams of me being really happy, and how they wish to see that whenever they see me. and i want to give that to them. i don't want people to worry about me, i'm working on making myself healthier, and happier.
i just felt like putting that in, to get it off of my chest. it made me feel better.

overwhelming

school has been getting to me lately. i've been slacking, and i've taken today off to catch up...after cleaning my room of course. my online class i'm really behind in, and my math class i haven't done my online work for a while. i have a test tomorrow and an essay due tomorrow. also, a test monday, as well as a lab report due monday. this will be exciting.

in other news, i'm cleaning my room! haha. i cant see the floor now, well, not now exactly, but after i move my cellos and a blanket i have i will be able to. which is good because i need to vacuum. what a doom vacuum i have. i'm going to learn to knit again...since my sewing machine is yet to be fixed.


spinning in circles
dizzy
i find myself lost
there's no way out
neverending winding path
this leads to no where
this leads to nothing
what am i supposed to do?
i yell for help
no one comes
i've lost my voice
running and running
where am i going?
trees fly by me
empty branches scratch my sides
the canopy grows smaller and smaller
who am i?
how did i get here?
questions never to be answered
i trip and fall
i keep falling and falling
i am nowhere
a black void
when will this end?